It's Almost The End Of The Year And Not Everything Is Perfect.
Will I Ever Feel Safe?
Does Someone Out There Love Me?
Will I Ever Stop Hurting Myself?
Questions Like That Consume Us And Eventually Break Us.
We All Are Slowly Killing Ourselves We Just Don't Know It Yet.
Look At It From A Different View.(Life)
It Won't Hurt.
I Realized After Having A Writer's Block And Not Writing Everything Down.
It All Backfired.
I Attempted Suicide A Few Days Ago. Drug Overdose.
It's Funny Because When I Tried Telling My Friends They Just Blocked Me Out And Spoke About Their Feelings And Their Problems Because They Think I'm Their Therapist.
It Makes Me Regret Not Vomiting Them Out.
It Was When I Need Them The Most. I Was Vulnerable. No One Helped.
It's Like Everything Was Closing In.
When I Took The Pills And Lied Down.
I Was Paralyzed I Could Barely Breath. Right There And Then I Knew I Was Alive.
So Close To Death. If I Slept It Will All Just Disappear. I'd Be Gone Forever.
I Chose To Stay. I Chose To Be There For My Friends Who Have Attempted Suicide Themselves.
I Lost Two Of My Closest Friends Two Years Ago.
They Are In A Better Place Now.
I Guess I Gave Up On The Game Called Life.
I Can Never Justify What I Did But I Couldn't Bear Being Here.
I Was Sick Of Being Abused By My Family. I Was Sick Of Feeling Lonely Even When I'm With A Bunch Of People.
Only A Handful Of My Friends Care For Me.
Those Ones I Have Kept Close And I'm Positive That I Will Stay Here In This World For A Little While...
Until Next Time.
It is hard to believe it's been 4 months since I've last visited loveyourflawz. However, I like the distance. Now I have something to truly write about. An actual event will be taking place in my life. For about a year I've been planning and preparing for England and now exactly to the date I have a week to go. My stomach is in knots, my mind races with a million thoughts and once in a while my hands begin to shake. Yes, I am nervous and anxious about my trip and some fear is mixed in too. I am not afraid of what is waiting for me there, wonderful friends, but more less it is the unknown that frightens me. This will be my first trip anyway alone and since this is my first journey outside the States I'm even that much more nervous about it all. It will be worth feeling all of this once my feet touch down on English soil. I am looking forward to sharing of my travels once I return. Take care all.
Ever Wanted To Just End All The Pain And Suffering In Your Life?
Ever Wanted To End That Shadow Of Blame Everyone's Been Throwing At You?
Felt Like Blood Was The Only Way To Get People's Attention?
Funny Seems Like We Are A Lot More Alike.
Sometimes Doing Your Best Isn't Good Enough.
I Know It Hurts But Trust Me It Gets Better.
People Become Nicer, Life Gets Easier Even When It Seems Like It Will Never Be As Good As People Made It Out To Be.
We're Young, We're Wild, We Love To Fast And We Sure As Heck Don't Know What We're Doing But We're Trying To Make People Understand Us And I Know Its Hard When No One Wants To Listen To That Quiet Girl In The Corner But Once She Speaks Everyone Listens.
Life May Be Bad Right Now And You Feel Rotten With Yourself But That Just Means If You Fall You Just Have To Get Back Up And Keep Moving Because If You Try Moving While You're On The Floor, You Will Get Nowhere.
Be Prepared For Life's Challenges Because They Will Get Harder.
You Are God's Beautiful Creation And I Hope You Never Forget That <3
I wrote this a few weeks ago, and realized that it belonged here:
My heroes are unrecognizable.
If you saw them walking down the street,
You’d assume they were just like everybody else.
You wouldn’t see what they’ve done for me,
How they saved me,
Given me back my voice
When I didn’t even know I’d lost it.
You wouldn’t see the time they put into my problems;
You wouldn’t see how much they cared
Even though their problems were far worse,
You’d be deaf to their stories,
Blind to their problems.
You wouldn’t know who they are at all.
You’d walk by
And ignore them effortlessly.
You wouldn’t even notice they were there.
My heroes are all around you.
People who have given it all
And managed to get more back,
People who have risked everything
To follow their dreams,
People who fall in love every day of their lives
Because how can you know happiness
If you’ve never known sadness?
They put themselves out there
And test their reaction skills,
Test their voices against the wind,
Dare their hearts not to shatter.
These are people who have fallen from grace a few times,
But never given up,
Gotten back up every time,
Gone back when there was no hope.
My heroes are people who share their stories of suffering,
Don’t hide from the past
But learn from it and help others do the same.
My heroes rush the stages
Because they know they have what it takes.
My heroes trip up the stairs sometimes
Because they were busy finding the right word too late in the conversation.
My heroes fall asleep on the floor
So someone else can be comfortable.
My heroes sing at the top of their lungs
Because they have nothing better to do,
Because they are following their passions.
My heroes dance instead of fight,
Because they know that fighting
Can only lead to disaster,
And dancing can lead to hilarity.
My heroes fake broken hearts and mended hearts everyday
Because the act itself
Makes them brave.
My heroes would stop for a stranger on a street corner
To make them see their own beauty,
To give them hope when there is none.
My heroes see the beauty in everything.
My heroes make me see the beauty in everything.
And so every time I walk down the street
I see people and wonder what their stories are,
What they’ve overcome,
What has made them become what they are
And how they remind themselves of who they are.
We’re all flawed, it’s no secret.
But the best lesson I’ve learned is that you don’t have to be perfect
To be somebody’s hero.
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